And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
