dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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