Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry about my life...
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