SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
