I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize