How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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