maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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