i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
