Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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