My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
