I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
