i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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