Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
