oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
