yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize