This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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