just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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