At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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