i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
