Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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