Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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