I think my vagina is haunted
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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