New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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