i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
