There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That accounts for only three of the penises
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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