party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.