Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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