Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
