Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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