yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize