Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
