Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
