Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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