Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
