I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
