When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
