Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
