I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize