I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize