i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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