she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
