awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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