just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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