They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize