You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
