Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
