dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am one with the molecules
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
