I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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