so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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