flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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