Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
