is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
