Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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