You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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