he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
ttyl tear gas
There's always time for handjobs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
