Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
