Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize