the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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