problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
