I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize