And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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