hotel room ftw
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
