Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
