they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
