Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the raccoons are back...
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