Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
