we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
