I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
